Interview with a Serial Killer
by 9We're All Mad Here6
Summary: What if Chucky managed to get on CNN before he died?
1. Chapter 1

Interview with a Serial Killer

Summary: What if Chucky managed to get on CNN before he was turned into a killer doll? Join us as we solve that mystery on... (Title goes here)

* * *

Psycho: Hello Everyone and welcome back to CNN Tonight! We apologize for the abrupt interrupition in the frequency system, now we can get back to our regularly scheduled- 

Guy in rhe audience: Hey! Where's the other guy?

Psycho: Wh-what other guy?

Guy: You know, the real host?

Psycho: Uh... he took a vacation. I'm taking over.

Guy: But you're just a kid!

Psycho: I is 14, thank ye kindly!

Guy: ...

Psycho: No, as I was saying, tonight we have a very special guest. The renowned suspect in 15 brutal murders and a very close friend of mine: Charles Ray!

Guy: But you were supposed to interview- (protests is cut short by a knife in the throat)

Psycho: Oh sh-t, he actually came... I mean hey Chuck!

Chucky: Don't call me that!

Psycho: Ehehe... right. Why don't you come on up here?

Chucky: Right.(walks up onto the stage and sits down across from Psycho)

Psycho: (coughs) So Mr. Ray, why don't you start by introducing yourself?

Chucky: But you already know me!

Psycho: But they don't. (Points to audience)

Chucky: Ugh, whatever. Hi, I'm Chcuky. The end.

Psycho: Whatever, close enough. (shuffles papers around) So Mr. Ray-

Chucky: Call me Chucky.

Psycho: Okay, "Chucky", most of the people here want to know why you chose the life of a serial killer.

Chucky: Well, it all started in the summer of 1492... or 1979, whichever sounds more resonable to you.

Psycho: ...

Chucky: I had just gotten into a passionate relationship with a beautiful woman, Isabella.

Psycho: Nice name, is she foreign? Roman maybe?

Chucky: No, she's from San Antonio.

Psycho: Oh.

Chucky: Anyway, we had been dating for about two years, and I was thinking "This chic has got to be the one!" So I knew I had to propose to her, before the happiness ended. I bought the biggest diamong ring I could find and ran back to our apartment. But when I got in there... my twin brother was all over her...

Psycho: All over... how?

Chucky: THEY WERE HAVING SEX!

Psycho: Oh my-

Chucky: THE WOMAN I LOVED WAS HAVING SEX WITH MY TWIN BROTHER! WE WEREN'T EVEN IDENTICAL, SO IT COULDN'T HAVE BEEN A MISTAKE!

Psycho: Chu-

Chucky: BUT DID SHE CARE? NO! AFTER I CAUGHT HER AND HIM, SHE LOOKED AT ME AND SAID "oh! Chucky, I have to tell you now, I wanna break up." LIKE IT WAS NO BIG DEAL! SO YOU KNOW WHAT I DID?

Psycho: I can only imagine.

Chucky: I BROKE INTO _THEIR_ NEW APARTMENT AND SLIT THEIR THROATS AND WRISTS WHILE THEY WERE WATCHING A MOVIE!

Psycho: Oh dear...

Chucky: But you know what? (gradually calms down and sits back in chair) It was worth it. the blood spilling onto the floor, the screaming, ah... you don't know how good it feels when you've caused that!

Psycho: Oh, yeah, I-I'm sure it feels great! (mutters) I knew I should've let my sister do this!

Chucky: Pardon?

Psycho: Nothing! So, after you killed them, what made you do it more?

Chucky: Oh you know, killing is and addiction like any other drug.

Psycho: Really?

Chucky: Yeah, it just felt right, and I couldn't stop myself! Now, I got the police on my tail, 5,000 people against me, and a slight case of asthma that can really be a bitch.

Psycho: I didn't know you had asthma... (pulls out inhaler from her pocket that reads "CLR" across it in gold letters)

Chucky: Yeah, I lost my inhaler though. It must've fallen out of my pocket on the street.

Psycho: I'll send for another one for you after the show. (drops inhaler and crushes it with her foot)

Chucky: What was that?

Psycho: What was what?

Chucky: Nothing...

Psycho: How long have you been in the game?

Chucky: About 5 years, and they still haven't caught me!

Psycho: Impressive. You really need to teach me some of this stuff.

Chucky: You mean that?

Psycho: Yeah! It's so amazing that they haven't even caught you!

Chucky: (beams) Yeah... I guess it is...

Psycho: So how many have you actually killed?

Chucky: About 30. They only caught 15 of the cases.

Psycho: What happened to the bodies of the other fifteen?

Chucky: (burps) Waste not want not!

Psycho: (gulps) Well... Um... I think it's time we went to a commercial!

* * *

Next segment: The Love of one Midget to be 


	2. The love life of a midget to be

Chapter 2: The love life of a midget to be...

* * *

Psycho: (clears throat and sips a glass of water) Welcome back folks! As you know, we have here with us Mr. Charles Lee Ray- 

Chucky: (waves and winks at the some girl in the front row and makes a 'call me' motion with his hand)

Psycho: -the famed serial killer...

Girl: (screams and runs away)

Chucky: (pouts and leans back)

Psycho: Now, we've covered why youdunnit, but now here's a probing question for all celebirties: Who are you dating, being engaed to, and/or sleeping with? And who have your past relationships been with?

Chucky: Well Psycho, you of course know about my relationship with... (twitches) Isabella...

Psycho: (nods) Meep.

Chucky: But I have seen many other beautiful women. Last month at a club, some Asian babe, Sadako, went home with me and it was hot up in there!

Psycho: I'm sure it was...

Chucky: I mean we were all into each other!

Psycho: That's nice...

Chucky: She was so smokin' hot! Whatwith her huge bo-

Psycho: (waves her hand as if to stop him) Hehe... As much as I would like to hear about your... "experiences"... We do have only an hour.

Chucky: Oh, right right. We broke up seven days later. But then I met this pretty young girl... Meh, I can't remember her name. I only remember who gives me the best-

Psycho: Nyet!

Chucky: Oh, sorry. Then I saw this other girl... We didn't sleep together, but I remember her name! I believe it was Zoot or something. She was a blondie. Can't really do much with them. Haha! Except cut 'em! Right? (eyes Psycho's yellowish hair)

Psycho: Um... Yeah... (ducks under table and comes back up with a gray beanie over her head) Is that it? Or are you now-

Chucky: Oh yeah! There's my baby! Come on up here darlin'!

(A girl with long red hair walks up onto the stage and shakes Psycho's hand before sitting down)

Psycho: And who is this?

Girl: My name is Tiffany. I'm Chucky's new girlfriend. (smiles and pets Chucky's hair)

Chucky: Ain't she somethin'? Come here you sexy little thing!

Tiffany: (stops him in the middle of him trying to kiss her) Not now sweety! We can't waste this nice girl's time, now can we?

Chucky: Fine... (pouts)

Psycho: Thank you Tiffany. I must ask you, is that your natural hair color?

Tiffany: Yep, I'm thinkin' of getting it dyed though. How do you think I'd look with blonde hair?

Psycho: I think you'd look alright.

Chucky: Nothin' cuter than a littleblonde baby! (hugs her)

Tiffany: Oh you! (practically pounces on him and smothers him with kisses)

Psycho: Um, I don't mean to interrupt, but...

Chucky: Oh yeah.

Psycho: So, how long have you two been together?

Chucky: Two days! Ain't it amazing?

Psycho: Um... Yeah!

Chucky: So amazing... that I want to do this... (gets down on one knee in front of Tiffany)

Tiffany: Chucky... What are you...

Chucky: Tiffany... When I met you... you were just a waitress in a cocktail bar... And I just thought you were a slut like the rest of them...

Psycho: Wow, that's romantic.

Chucky: You say somethin', _blondie_?

Psycho: Nu-uh!

Chucky: (turns back to Tiffany) And I just want you to know... That I was wrong... You're the prettiest, smartest-

Psycho: (mutters under her breath) Wait until the fourth movie comes out...

Chucky: -sexiest, most charismic girl I've ever known...

Psycho's brain: _How many times has a word with the phrase 'sex' been used? This guy is such a perv! And I didn't know his vocabulary went out to words like charismic... Then again, I can't be one to talk... not even mine does..._

Chucky: And I just want to do this... Tiffany... Will you marry me? (holds out a little 25 cents ring with a big plastic diamond on it)

Psycho's brain: _Cheapass..._

Tiffany: OH MY GOD! YES! I DO I DO I DO! (jumps on Chucky and kisses him passionately)

Psycho: Sniff... That's so romantic...

Chucky: (ends the kiss) I vow to be the best psycho killer husband a girl could ever want!

Tiffany: And maybe I can leave P_e_ta one day and join you! I love you Chucky!

Chucky: I love you too... Sadako...

Psycho: Oh, this should be good.

Tiffany: 'Sadako'? Who's Sadako?

Chucky: Uh... Um... J-Just a girl I used to see! But we broke up! You're all I care about now!

Tiffany: If you 'care' about me so much, why can't you even remember my name?

Chucky: You just remind me so much of her!

Tiffany: Oh! So now you're _comparing_ me to her?

Psycho: This is really good! (quickly turns around, dials a number on her cell phone and whispers into it) Can you see him? You can? Good. Yeah... Yeah... No... Alright... Whencan you make it? 10:00? That's good, the show'll be over by then. Thanks Chief. Bye. (hangs up and watches the screaming and fighting)

Chucky: Look! If you can't forgive one little mistake, then maybe we shouldn't see each other anymore!

Tiffany: I agree! (takes the ring off and throws it in his face) I'M LEAVING YOU CHARLES RAY! (runs out crying)

Chucky: (slumps down in his seat with his face buried in his hands)

(The room is silent for about 5 minutes)

Psycho: ...I think that pretty well.

Chucky: You do too? (not sarcastic)

Psycho: Yep. One of the better breakups I've seen.

Chucky: I didn't know how else to let her go. (leans back) I'm a free man again!

Psycho: You wanna cut to a commercial? Maybe go get a refund on that ring?

Chucky: Yeah, okay.

Psycho: Stick around, we'll be right back!

* * *

Next Chapter: Social life? What's that? 

What is Psycho up too? Stay tuned to find out!


	3. Social life? What's that?

Chapter 3: Social Life? What's that?

* * *

Psycho: And we're back! So Chucky, now that you and Tiffany are done, let's talk about something _I _want to know about. 

Chucky: Okay. Shoot.

Psycho: Do you have a social life at all, or do you just sit at home and watch old horror movies trying to get ideas on how to torture your next victim?

Chucky: ...

Psycho: Chuck?

Chucky: ...Uh... What's a social life?

Psycho: You know, who are your friends, your enemies? Do you hang out with members of your family in your free time?

Chucky: Why would I want to do any of that stuff?

Psycho: 'Cuz it's normal.

Chucky: Well, as you know, I have lady troubles. I have made friends with a few of the cops. They chase me around and try to shoot me, but always miss! And then I shoot back. It's so riveting to see their blood spill onto the asphault-

Psycho: Gazundheit.

Chucky: -I mean it's just the experience of a lifetime!

Psycho: (looks anxiously at the clock) Thinking: Damn, thirty more minutes with this nutcase!

Chucky: So, what about your social life?

Psycho: Hm?

Chucky: You know, your friends, enemies-

Psycho: i know, I know. But this isn't really about me, it's about you.

Chucky: I'm just curious.

Psycho's thoughts: Well, it would burn up some of the time I have before he gets here...

Psycho: Alright. my social life: My friends and I used to go to the same school, but I had to move away at the end of last year.

Chucky: I'm so sorry... Wait, so you don't hang out with that little hyper girl anymore?

Psycho: We keep in touch.

Chucky: Does that mean there are gonna be no more fanfictions with you and that other girl? (eyes get watery)

Psycho: No, no! We'll still have the fanfictions. We just don't live in the same state anymore!

Chucky: Oh. That's good. Them little stories you write are funny.

Psycho: I'm glad you think so. Anyway, I went to a new school and hung around my friends from church at school, getting to know them a little better. Then I met some other people and started dividing my time up, because my church friends see me on Wednesdays, Sundays, and lunch every day. I finish eating and go hang out with my school friends.

Chucky: Love life?

Psycho: This ain't about me Chucky.

Chucky: Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaassssssseeeee!

Crowd: Are you single or not?

Psycho: THAT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!

Chucky: What? Can you not get a date?

Psycho: (turns red with anger) Why I oughta-! (cell phone rings) Hang on... (leaves the room) Hyello!

: Um, Ms. Psycho... We, uh, can't come.

Psycho: What? But I got him here just like you ordered! I have a serial kilelr in someone else's studio! Do you know what's gonna happen when they find out who I brought! (looks at watch) And the show just ended! Argh...!

: I know, and I'm sorry, but some redhead is holding us up. She says that if we don't get rid of Chucky's criminal file, she'll shoot us! you can figureout what to do. You look like a smart kid.

Psycho:... I hate you. Bye.

: bye. (click)

A/N: Now it gets like a horror movie!

Psycho leaned against the wall and sighed, pushing the cell phone into the pocket of her jeans. She peeked back in the studio. It was empty. Chucky was gone too.

"Damn! When'd he go?" she cursed, taking her hair out of the bun it was in and pulling at the many barettes the make-over people had put in there. She jumped as she heard the door close behind her and standing right behind her was none other than chucky himself.

"Eep! Hey Chucky... What're you still doin' here?" she asked nervously. Chucky had an evil looking smile on his face.

"I heard every word. So, yu think you could set me up, huh? Well, I got other plans toots."

Psycho watched him circle around the room carefull and backed up as he stopped moving and pulled something out of his sleeve.

"Where'd you get that knife?"

* * *

Next Chapter: Chapetr 4: Run Forest! Run! 


End file.
